She was a true free spirit. She was so funny, and so dedicated to having a good time. Her laugh was the loudest, brightest laugh in the world. She played Nintendo. I would sleep over at her house every weekend, and we would lay on the end of her bed facing her TV, with down pillows under our chests, eating candy corn from big plastic bins. She was the best cook I know. She listened to G. Gordon Liddy every day and cussed at him to high heaven. Whenever we went to the drive thru at Hardee's near her house, she would honk the horn and shout into the receiver, "I'm comin' around, dahlin!" She wouldn't talk into the box. Then, when we got to the window, she would say, "Hello, I would like a large fry, but only if they are FRESH and HOT." The kid there loved her and knew her by name. Whenever Mammaw saw a fat woman, she would say, "Oh, DORASS!" (Doris was her name) in a sympathetic, exuberant tone of voice. Mammaw loved other people and other people just loved her. Her funeral was full of people from all over the country, and even today, when I run into people I knew in grade school, they always have a "Mammaw" story to tell me. (One of my faves: my Aunt Liz's sorority sisters were spending the night with Mammaw and their sweet tooths got the better of them. They went, in their pajamas, to the grocery store, to the bakery, and ordered a sheet cake. The woman asked if they wanted something written on it, thinking it was a birthday, I guess, and they told her to write, "WE LOVE CAKE!" And she did and they took it home and ate the whole thing.) Everywhere she went, she brought the party and pure joy with her. It really, really bothers me that I can never manage to capture her spirit in words, but I will never stop trying to emulate it in my own life.
I still can't believe that she is gone, but today it was so nice to see that my cousin Mary Anne remembered her birthday. Here's what she wrote:
Mary Anne John-Telinde Happy Birthday to my Aunt Dorassss....Miss and Love her sooo much but makes me happy to know she is one of my angels.....All of our angels...smile everyone b/c you can only hear her laughing at us!!!!
- Pam John Vaughan Boy can I hear her laughing - I LOVE IT
- Janell McGowan OMG, not only can I hear her laughing, I can hear her saying, "Don't tell Rosemary on me." (NOTE: Rosemary is my mom!)
- Anna Decker I said Happy Birthday to my Aunt Doris today too!! Love that woman!! She and Momma are partying together-HA!
- Amy Butler Kallenbach Here's to Aunt Dorasssss! May she kick our butts when we get to Heaven just like she did here on Earth! Love her and you!
- Diane Rose Decker Aunt Doris is very missed! She was a hoot and also a very wise woman!
1950.
1982, with baby Cathy at Nags Head.
2003, with her little brother Peter-Boy, at my wedding.
Doris Barbara Decker Cory, September 1, 1933 - September 28, 2003
I love that you had such a special relationship with your Mammaw. Being so close to her means that a part of her will be passed on to your baby and this baby's siblings and their children. Thank you for sharing her with us.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading about her, Adrienne. It's nice to know that though she is in a better world, I can keep something about her going here in this one.
ReplyDeleteWhat wonderful memories you have, Cathy. What a blessing. I still think of my great-grandmother, the one from whom both Joy and I got our middle name, almost every day, and thank God for her influence in my life. Multi-generational bonds are so precious, and there is nothing like them!
ReplyDeleteLouise: you should blog about her! I think it's so neat that you got to know your great-grandmother and I'd love to read about her.
ReplyDeleteAs far as names go, you are lucky you had something as nice as your middle name to use! (It with an 'a' on the end is on my list!) My grandmothers were Doris and Lois, and, sadly, I don't consider those very practical. In fact, Mammaw used to hate her name, and made me PROMISE never to name my daughter after her. She always hated her name--she was the last girl in a family of 7, and by the time she came along, she said, they had used up the beautiful names (Catherine Helen and Mary Anne) and so she got the bad one (Doris Barbara).
My great-grandmother hated her first name - Pauline - and when my parents told her they wanted to name me after her, she said "Don't you DARE saddle a child with a name like Pauline!" So they compromised on Louise, her middle name and mine.
ReplyDeleteMy dad's mother's name is Lois! My maternal grandmother is Ethel; thankfully neither of them ever expected any of their descendants to inflict their names on any offspring!
Oh, I think Pauline is pretty, actually. But not as nice as the name your parents chose for you! They have good taste. Lois is not TOO bad, but it doesn't match with the style of names I like (very traditional: Elizabeth and Mary and Susan and things like that). I loved my Grandma Lois and I even think Eloise or Louisa would be a pretty way to honor her.
ReplyDeleteIn my family, we tend to reuse names or to squinch them together in new formations. For instance my mom's grandmothers were Mary and Rose, so she became Rosemary. I thought about putting Doris and Lois together and coming up with "Delores"...then I looked it up, and saw it means sadness. Oh, what's in a name?
Louise means "victorious warrior maiden," so I've always been fond of the meaning for my name! Especially since the meaning of my first name is "Industrious," so put it all together, and I'm a hard-working warrior!
ReplyDeleteName meanings are fun, but we ended up throwing them out the window when it came to our girls. Joy's name means "wealthy queen," which isn't bad, but isn't the sort of deep, meaningful name I always thought I'd pick for a child of mine! If you like Delores for a name, I'd say go for it, and the meaning it holds for you, of honoring your grandmothers, will definitely be more important than the dictionary meaning!
(Naturally, I did some looking into the name meaning of Doris, too, and found that it means "gift." I suppose you could always pick a name that has a similar meaning, and again, you would know it was in honor of your grandmother - ok, I really need to stop making suggestions here. Baby naming is addictive.)
Yeah, I was more pleased at the cleverness of Delores than the actual name itself. Like I said, my name picks are so boring.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of picking a name based on the same meaning. J&I have had our names picked out since 2004 or so, but now that baby Verdier is starting to seem more real, we're of course starting to question our choices. I bet you that we end up with our first choices, though!
Names ARE addictive...I have kept a running list of names since I was a kid. And I've already found that the few people I have told are all over me about names. "Susannah for a girl," said my mom, definitively, like 10 minutes after I told her I was pregnant. Now, Susannah is on my list, but all the same, I don't know how I feel about people thinking they have as much say in this as I do!!