I was 6w1d along, according to my dates, and Baby's size was measuring very nearly on track with that at 5w6d. We saw the gestational and yolk sac and the fetal pole, and then--wonder of wonders!--we saw a very tiny flicking at the base of the fetal pole. Just as if a few pixels in the screen were turning off and on, extremely tiny. It was Baby's heart beating, at 109 beats per minute, just right for his gestational age.
"Perfect," said the doctor. "Everything is perfect."
What a feeling, to see something like that! My baby doesn't have a name yet, but he has a heart that is beating, and I saw the EKG to prove it. It just seems so surreal to me. He is doing OK, even if I am not, and I felt like his presence there on the screen, that rapid but steady little perfect flicker, was his way of saying, "Look, Ma, everything is ALL RIGHT." In fact, everything was so good that I feel a little stupid for freaking out so much. But I've never been pregnant before, and so I'm cutting myself some slack as I get adjusted to it.
(By the way, I have a very hard time referring to Baby as anything but "he" because I am convinced it is a boy. I don't know why, except I just have this FEELING. I don't think I will even prefer a boy, really, so it's not wishful thinking. For the record, my mom and aunt also think it is a boy, but James and my dad think it's a girl.)
After my ultrasound, I drove home to Norfolk with my mom and Aunt Cathy to spend the last few days of summer by Aunt Cathy's pool. And on the way down, morning sickness struck for the first time. I was sick and dizzy--I didn't throw up--but I thought it was a miracle I didn't. We stopped for Sea Bands and sour candy and water and crackers and ginger and vitamin B-6 but nothing helped...until James called the pharmacist, who recommended Unisom, a sleeping tablet that is safe for pregnancy. I took one, and about a half hour later, I was feeling better and able to sleep for a while, which was nice because I haven't gotten a good night's sleep since I found out I was pregnant.
I haven't had nausea that bad since, but a vague queasiness is always there. Sometimes I get a whiff of something completely innocuous, like frosting on a cupcake, and have to leave the room. I miss my raging appetite of a week ago, and look back fondly to the days when everything seemed delicious. Now there is a very small circle of foods I can stand the thought of, and it's always something really random, like corn soup or tabbouleh. And it changes rapidly. Right now, I have a house full of food I bought just yesterday, but I am SURE the only think I could stomach would be Mongolian barbecue, so I am waiting for James to arrive in town for the weekend, and then I am going to beg him to take me to get some.
Since everyone in my family knows (my aunts have trouble keeping secrets) and since we saw the heartbeat (which takes away a superstitious belief that we might "jinx" the baby by talking about him) I have had a lot of people offering their opinions on my pregnancy lately. I am not supposed to: touch anything dirty, touch animals, including dogs, eat sugar, eat fatty food, eat raw foods, use ANY cleaning supplies (but what about the dirty things I am supposed to not touch!?), drive, or walk barefoot outside. Oh, and speaking of names, everybody has an opinion on them, even at this early stage.
Names that James and I like that have been summarily rejected by my family: Helen, Anne, John, William, Nora, Cordelia, Victoria, Grace, Owen, Charles, Louisa.
Names that I don't like that have been recommended by my family: Augustus, Frederica, Rosedonna or Donna Rose (my mom's name and James's mom's name together, natch), Cori-Beth (yes, with an i), Seymour, Laurence (for a girl!), Julianna, Daniella, Francesca, Arabella, Isabella, Bella....
My family is obviously more flowery than J&I are when it comes to names. It makes me laugh, because when people ask me what my favorite name for a girl is and I say, "Anne," they immediately follow up with "...abelle." Or I say, "John," and they finish, "...athon." I guess they never heard the old adage that short words are sweetest. Oh, and the one about how not everyone wants their daughter to sound like Disney royalty or their son, a soap opera character!
So those are the tales from Pregnancyville! and now that I've recounted them I should go work. But before I do: I am very pleased to present to you the very first photos of little Augustus Arabella Laurence Verdier, affectionately known as "Jawbone" to his mom and dad.
Right now he's very small--only 2 mm--which means that any one of those names is literally bigger than he is.
Oh, I smiled and smiled all through reading this. I'm so, so happy for you and James and Jawbone! I remember all the advice/commands people gave, and having the same reaction to the "don't touch anything dirty" "don't use cleaning products" advice. I always wanted to ask if they were going to hire me a maid?
ReplyDeleteMy only advice - listen to your body, do what YOU need to stay healthy both physically and mentally, and if that includes doing something on the "taboo" list, well, just don't tell anyone.
Oh, and I love your names - the ones your family has rejected. Do I get a vote? If so, I vote for Louisa Anne or Anne Louisa for a girl, and Owen or Charles for a boy!
And my gut instinct is telling me you're having a boy, too!
I caught on to your calling the baby "he" in your Facebook message. Just please refrain from calling your daugher "he" if he turns out to be a she. I kinda think it's a boy too, though.
ReplyDeleteI know this sounds horrible, but I'm thrilled you're feeling ill. That's such a great sign. I'm beyond thrilled you're relaxing.
Little heartbeat, keep getting stronger and stronger!
Louise, you actually hit the nail on its head. Anne Louisa is my top name for a girl right now, though I am really digging on Susannah, too. John Owen would be my top boy pick at the moment.
ReplyDeleteAdrienne, I get what you are saying completely. Never was I so happy to feel ill! (Though it still was nothing near pleasant or even tolerable.)