Another update.

Slowly but surely, I feel as though I am getting back in the swing of things.

My bedrest edict was lifted officially about a week ago. Unofficially, I am supposed to get horizontal whenever I feel winded, crampy, tired, or just plain not good. So I'm spending a lot of time on my back. Morning sickness continues--I can't seem to eat enough food to keep the nausea at bay. I've actually lost weight in this pregnancy, which marks the very first time ever that I was not fat enough. The only thing that is getting me through this is books and prayers, both of which I have gotten from kind friends. I am extremely grateful for all three.

I actually had to turn down a work project that I felt would be a good opportunity because overall, I thought it would put too much strain on me. It worried me to give up such a great opportunity; I have to keep reminding myself that an opportunity isn't actually that great if it comes at the wrong time, and this one did, for me. There will be other projects.

But I am starting to stop worrying and start to really love my baby. James and I found out there is an 85% chance she's a girl, and so we tentatively started calling her by the name we picked out, instead of Jawbone. But the more that we called her that name, and the more we looked at her little pouty face in the 3D ultrasound, we found that a particular nickname suited her better. It just feels more natural. I mean to do a first trimester write-up, because there is so much I want to remember about this pregnancy--my Tabasco cravings, my crying jags over children's literature, being SO HOT and sleeping with all the windows open on 40-degree nights, not wanting to "jinx" things, but not being able to stop from buying the baby books, spelling out VIVAT JAWBONE in word tiles on the coffee table and leaving them there for weeks, seeing a pair of perfectly formed feet frog-kicking across an ultrasound screen--the greatest moment in my life to date... But to be quite honest, the way things are going, I probably won't get around to expounding more on these things than I already have. It makes me sad to think that this time is already slipping away from me, but then I remember all the things I will be glad to miss. Reading in front of the toilet, sick sick sick, mood swings, food aversions, sleeplessness, never being able to empty my bladder quite completely...

My good friends Jamie and Patrick had their baby early on November 10. His name is Atom Gray I_____. I am not a fan of the name, but I am a fan of Baby Atom himself. He is so sweet, with Patrick's Austrian nose and Jamie's Korean eyes, in a peculiar shade of blue that I hope endures. He never fusses, and he makes the grumpiest faces when he is displeased. He is going to be my baby's first friend, and I love him for that, but I also love him because he is the living embodiment of my friends' love for each other. I love going over to their house with supper and folding his little onesies and then holding him while his mother eats and naps.

In non-baby related news, we've completed a few home improvement projects in the past few weeks. Rather: James has, although I consider myself the mastermind behind the finished products. Example: James laid new vinyl flooring in the bathroom and I caulked! And also: I laid tile on the easy parts of the kitchen floor, and left the cut outs around the radiator and doorjamb to him. Tomorrow, James will spray paint a new bookcase that I picked out online! I just love feathering my little nest.

Thanksgiving is in three days, and I am looking forward to spending it with James and James alone. No cats, even! It seems impossible that we have been together for 10 years and never spent the holiday alone before (unless you count the impromptu Ghetto Thanksgiving of 2003 with Patrick Riggs, Eli, Alex, etc), but this has been such a nice entry that I will decide not to go into the "James's Mom is a Crazy and Manipulative You-Know-What" spiel and just say that we're looking forward to it. We rented a luxury cabin in the mountains near Luray, Virginia, and we will spend it there (and keep our phones on silent to avoid the thousand mournful calls from You-Know-Who, just checking in! To say she misses us! And ask if we need anything! And by the way, she misses us! And isn't having such a good time. Because she misses...)

There is a great big golden orb of a moon tonight, hanging in a ring of hazy smoke right over top of my building. I keep going downstairs to look at it. Because it's pretty, and because I can.